Step #5 to Happiness: Getting Rid of Negative Emotions

Well, we're halfway through the Steps to Happiness Series that I started last month! Step #5 is:

Get rid of toxic emotions such as anger, regrets, and guilt

Getting rid of negative emotions is very important if you truly want to experience happiness and bliss. Of course, it's much easier said than done. I used to think that these emotions were part of our lives and we just had to accept that we would be angry, regretful, or guilty at one time or another. However, I realize now that it doesn't have to be this way. We can go through life and not have these kind of emotions. I believe that we were born in bliss, but it's our environment that changes us and teaches us these other kinds of emotions. This is often referred to in psychology studies as the "nature vs nurture" debate.

There has to be a conscious decision to not feel these kind of negative emotions in order for them to go away. That's not to say that we should suppress these emotions when they do manifest themselves. That would make the emotions just grow bigger inside us. What I learned from reading Highway to Hell (I reviewed it here) is to just let these emotions run their course. Acknowledge these emotions and be aware that you're feeling them, but after that just let...them...go.... like clouds passing you in the sky. I like what Moonstone Star White says in her book:

"Hatred is a potpourri of our harshest judgments and most rejected feelings. In seeking the release that doesn't come these feelings compress and harden, distorting perceptions and twisting in upon themselves until they become menacing and unwholesome. Discover the message that hate has for you and you will get in touch with your deepest insecurities..."

You Always Have a Choice

Whenever I start to feel any negative emotions, I stop and tell myself, "I choose to be happy." Sometimes I have to repeat this over and over until those negative emotions dissipate, but just saying those words reminds me that yes, I can always choose to be happy. Situations, people, or circumstances do not "make you" feel these negative emotions. We often blame others for our unhappiness not realizing that we have the ability to snap out of that unhappiness just by making a conscious choice to be happy.

How do you deal with negative emotions?

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Photo Credit: Rebecca Searle

Richard Cockrum's Five Keys to Happiness

I wanted to continue the Steps to Happiness series today, but attraction energy brought me Richard Cockrum's post, Five Keys to Happiness, which is a great read. I left a comment there sharing my thoughts...and I also recommend reading Richard's related posts on happiness. Enjoy!

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." -- Anne Frank


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Steps to Happiness Series: #4 Relinquish the Need for External Approval

Continuing the Steps to Happiness Series...We're now at step #4...

Growing up I used to be one of those people-pleaser kids. I wanted everyone to like me and I was always concerned about what other people thought about me - as is most kids. I finally grew out of that need for external approval from my peers during college when I realized that I was unhappy because I was too busy wanting other people to accept me. To an extent I still seek approval - mainly from my parents - but I realize that I really need to just live my own life to be truly, truly happy.

So, how did I free myself from other people's opinions? I simply made the decision to not let their thoughts and gossip affect me. I also started to surround myself with positive people who supported me and loved me unconditionally.

One of the most liberating feelings in life is knowing that as long as you're happy, other people's opinions don't matter. The greatest love of all is learning to love yourself. That's not to say that you shouldn't be mindful of other people's feelings if you're in a situation that concerns them, but when it comes to your life and how you live it, that's up to you.

Have anything else to add?

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Photo Credit: Dry Icons

Steps to Happiness Series: #3 Embrace Silence Through Meditation

Continuing the Steps to Happiness Series, we're now up to #3: Embrace silence through meditation

Meditation is the practice of quieting your mind and connecting with The Source of All. Whenever someone comes to me with a problem, my immediate advice is: Go meditate on it. There is so much power in just clearing your mind of all that clutter and mind chatter. Meditation allows good energy to flow to you and puts you in a deeper state of consciousness.

Here is a video of Deepak Chopra explaining what meditation is...


I've been meditating every day for the past couple years and have seen a dramatic improvement in my attitude and abundance. What started it for me was reading Wayne Dyer's book: Getting in the Gap: Making Conscious Contact with God Through Meditation (Book with CD)

I've talked about meditation quite a bit here in the past, so I'll simply point out all those posts which will explain the importance and benefits of meditation:

• Attracting Everything Good Into Your Life
• Meditation and Deep Breathing For An Abundant and Happy Life
• How to Regain Your Energy and Natural Vitality
  

Is this your first time here? You may want to read the past articles in the 10 Steps to Happiness Series:

Step 1: Being Aware of Your Body
Step 2: Live in the Moment

Book Review: Sound Health, Sound Wealth

When many of us think of the word “wealth” we think of money, big houses, fancy cars, and the type of lifestyle led by celebrities and dignitaries. But did you know that wealth can also mean having fulfilling relationships, being happy, and having sound health? Luanne Oakes helps us explore and discover our own definition of wealth in her book, Sound Health Sound Wealth: The Biology of Hope and Manifestation.

Through her life experiences and examples, Luanne offers tips and exercises so that we can make our lives better every day in every way. I learned such things as the Principle of Resonance which is “perfect oneness with the Source of All Creation” and the concept of Future Memories which are goals and dreams that you experience through your Body, Mind, and Spirit.

Much of what I read in the book was nothing new to me in regards to the concepts of “thoughts become things” and “living in the moment”, however, there was a part of the book that fascinated me where the author talks about sound and light and how they provide a path to healing our bodies. Sound Health, Sound Wealth will really make you think about the subtleties of life and how everything that you think and everything that happens to you affects you at the cellular level.

What I Like About Sound Health, Sound Wealth

My favorite chapter of the book was chapter five where the author talks about The Principle of Transforming Time. I often think about time and how the concept came about. Many of us complain that there is never any time to do anything or there just isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish our goals.

I like this line from chapter five:

“When you Make a Decision and intend to change your relationship with time, it is increasingly possible to string transcendent moments together like a beautiful and exotic strand of pearls.”

What’s fascinating to me is that our perception of time changes at any given moment of the day. When you’re doing something you love time appears to go by fast and then when you’re doing something you dread (like being in a job you hate!) time seems to go by soooo slow.

Many of us are in such a rush to get where we want to be that we believe that isn’t any time to do anything. We believe that we need to accomplish all these things in order to be successful, so quantity takes precedence over quality. However, if you change the “there’s no time” belief into a “there’s plenty of time” belief, you’ll start to discover that there is indeed time to do everything that you want to do.

Book Bonus:

Sound Health, Sound Wealth comes with a Frequency Treatment CD that helps you get into a more relaxed mood. I like to listen to it while I’m cleaning the house or taking a little snooze in the middle of the day.

Thumbs Up!

Would I recommend reading Sound Health, Sound Wealth? Definitely! It’s not your typical self-help book. This book will really make you delve deeper into the recesses of your mind and think more about life on a metaphysical level. It will make you realize what true wealth is!
Sound Health, Sound Wealth is available at Amazon.com

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Lesson 2 in the Steps to Happiness Series: Live in the Moment

The second lesson in the 10 Steps to Happiness series deals with living in the present moment. This is something that was a challenge for me - and actually still is a challenge sometimes. How many of you can say that you actually live in the moment every second of the day? Are you fully aware of what's going on right in front of you at any given moment in time?

Stop Living in the Past

Like most adults I used to constantly live in the past. I would go through the "What if's" and "I Shoulda's". There were things I regretted doing or not doing. One of the things that really gnawed at my soul was the circumstances surrounding my mother's "death" (I don't believe anybody really dies. That's why I put the word in quotation marks). My mother passed in a drowning accident and I would always think, "What if I had been there? Would she still be alive? Is it my fault?" These are the questions that I kept asking myself as I replayed that summer day over and over in my mind. I was living in the past and never living in the present moment.

Do you find yourself constantly thinking about the past? What have you done to stop re-living any painful memories?

What we have to realize is that there is nothing we can do to change the past. What’s done is done. Replaying the past over and over in our minds depletes us of energy – the energy that’s needed to live a full life right now.

Stop Thinking About the Future

If I wasn't living in the past, I was worried about the future - especially in regards to my financial situation. In my early 20's I spent a great deal of money supporting a guy who didn't love me like I thought he did. In essence he used me to get what he wanted while seeing other women behind my back. I always worried about money and this mentality stayed with me up until a few years ago when I first started this blog.

Why worry about something that hasn’t even happened? As I reflect back on all those times that I worried about something, I see now that everything always worked itself out somehow. I worried for nothing!

The Past and Future Are Illusions

Realizing that the past and the future are illusions was the big lesson I learned when I read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. If you’ve signed up for the Monday night webinars on "A New Earth" with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle, you’ve probably already learned this powerful lesson.

All that matters is right now – this very moment. There’s nothing you can do to change the past and the future hasn’t happened yet, so what’s the point of always thinking about it? When I started living in the now, I became more energized and happy. Remember how it was when you were a child hanging out with friends, riding a bike, or playing a game? Young kids are very good at living in the moment.

How to Live in the Moment

Living in the moment is going to take some practice, as is everything new that we learn in life. An exercise that worked for me was to stare at an object for about five minutes and just really notice it. I’d make mental notes about the object’s color, the shape, whether or not light was reflecting off of it… I just gave that object my full attention.

Related Posts:

• Living the Power of Now

• Enjoying the Moment

Book of interest: Secret of Letting Go by Guy Finley

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The Steps to Happiness Series: Being Aware of Your Body

Last week I talked briefly about Deepak Chopra's "Happiness Prescription" and said that I would go into details about the 10 steps to happiness. This is the first post in a series of posts in which I'll be talking about walking the path to happiness. Today I'm going to focus on one of those steps which is being aware of your body...

When it comes to your body, Deepak Chopra said this in an interview with Veronica Hay:

"...the body is the end product of intelligence and how that intelligence shapes your reality will shape the reality of the body. The body is a field of ideas and it is a field of interpretations and when you change your experience of your own identity to a spiritual being, the body expresses the physical manifestation of that spiritual reality."

Your body is just a storage for your soul and energy. The way your body looks is also a reflection of your thoughts and self-esteem. If you look at many people who have negative thoughts and low self-worth, you'll see it in their skin and their body language. The words you say, the thoughts that run through your mind, and the things you eat affect how your physical body.

That said, there are many people who believe that their body is their identity. You'll see this in people who are constantly under-going plastic surgery or they're obsessed with how they look all the time - checking their appearance every five minutes in the mirror. This isn't a healthy state of mind to be in. People who identify with their looks are constantly comparing themselves to other people and always thinking that they're getting old.

Did you know that just by simply changing your thoughts and perceptions, you could literally change the chemical makeup of your body? You could literally think yourself thin or appear to be 25 when you're really 40? Your thoughts send out messages to every cell in your body and those cells act according to those messages. In other words, there is this mind-body connection going on constantly.

Are you aware of your body?

Next time I'll be talking about living in the present moment...Stay tuned! In the meantime, if you haven't done so already, I invite you to visit my Squidoo lens which has tips on finding happiness.

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