Step #7 In the Happiness Series: Don't Judge Yourself and Others

Photo by Kerri Humphries

In the Steps to Happiness Series, we’ve reached Step #7: Don’t judge yourself and others…

Have you ever looked at a person and not judged them? If you’re like many people, probably not. We meet someone for the first time and within 30 seconds we’ve already made assumptions about them from the way they’re dressed to the way they talk.

The media perpetuates these constant judgments we make about other people - especially those magazines that have built their business around stalking celebrities and documenting their every move. Britney Spears knows what I’m talking about.

Have you ever wondered what exactly the benefit was of making judgments about other people? For many people it’s an ego thing. They want to appear to be “superior” than the person they are judging. There have been plenty of times in my life that I have judged someone, but as it turned out, I was completely wrong about the person. You never really know anybody until you’ve had a chance to really talk to them and see where they’re coming from. And even then, you still don’t judge them.

What’s More Poisonous Than Judging Others?

I could go on an on about how we shouldn’t judge other people, but one of the reasons why many of us lead unhappy lives is because we’re constantly judging ourselves. The judgments we make on ourselves are probably more poisonous than the judgments we make on others.

Think about the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror. What were the thoughts going through your mind? You may not even be aware that you’re judging yourself. “Oh, I look so fat…I wish my eyebrows were thicker…” (Conversations I’ve had with myself in the past!)

Other Thoughts on Judging Others:

Here are links to other bloggers sharing their thoughts...

• Don't Judge Others, Be Helpful Instead!
• Weeds (by Linda)
  

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Jack Canfield Talks About Success

It's once in a blue moon that I ever start feeling unmotivated. When that happens - like today - I turn to YouTube and look for some inspiration. I came across this video of Jack Canfield talking about his success principles and wanted to share it with you...




Related Posts:

• SUCCESS Makes a Comeback
• Ten Secrets to My Success
• My Theory of Success
  

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Step #6 in the 10 Steps to Happiness Series: Have Total Knowledge of Yourself

As we continue with the 10 Steps to Happiness series, we arrive at step #6:

Have total knowledge of yourself

Total knowledge of yourself means several things to me:

• Knowing your strengths and your “challenges”. Some people use the word weakness. I like to call them “challenges”.

• Embracing those challenges for what they are and accepting every aspect of your spirit.

• Discovering what brings meaning to your life. Allowing yourself to take risks in life so that you can discover that meaning.

• Doing what you love and doing it with great awareness of your spirit and soul.

• Being aware of your thoughts and realizing that theses thoughts are attracting the experiences of your life.

Anything you'd like to add to these thoughts? Leave a comment!

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Step #5 to Happiness: Getting Rid of Negative Emotions

Well, we're halfway through the Steps to Happiness Series that I started last month! Step #5 is:

Get rid of toxic emotions such as anger, regrets, and guilt

Getting rid of negative emotions is very important if you truly want to experience happiness and bliss. Of course, it's much easier said than done. I used to think that these emotions were part of our lives and we just had to accept that we would be angry, regretful, or guilty at one time or another. However, I realize now that it doesn't have to be this way. We can go through life and not have these kind of emotions. I believe that we were born in bliss, but it's our environment that changes us and teaches us these other kinds of emotions. This is often referred to in psychology studies as the "nature vs nurture" debate.

There has to be a conscious decision to not feel these kind of negative emotions in order for them to go away. That's not to say that we should suppress these emotions when they do manifest themselves. That would make the emotions just grow bigger inside us. What I learned from reading Highway to Hell (I reviewed it here) is to just let these emotions run their course. Acknowledge these emotions and be aware that you're feeling them, but after that just let...them...go.... like clouds passing you in the sky. I like what Moonstone Star White says in her book:

"Hatred is a potpourri of our harshest judgments and most rejected feelings. In seeking the release that doesn't come these feelings compress and harden, distorting perceptions and twisting in upon themselves until they become menacing and unwholesome. Discover the message that hate has for you and you will get in touch with your deepest insecurities..."

You Always Have a Choice

Whenever I start to feel any negative emotions, I stop and tell myself, "I choose to be happy." Sometimes I have to repeat this over and over until those negative emotions dissipate, but just saying those words reminds me that yes, I can always choose to be happy. Situations, people, or circumstances do not "make you" feel these negative emotions. We often blame others for our unhappiness not realizing that we have the ability to snap out of that unhappiness just by making a conscious choice to be happy.

How do you deal with negative emotions?

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Photo Credit: Rebecca Searle

Richard Cockrum's Five Keys to Happiness

I wanted to continue the Steps to Happiness series today, but attraction energy brought me Richard Cockrum's post, Five Keys to Happiness, which is a great read. I left a comment there sharing my thoughts...and I also recommend reading Richard's related posts on happiness. Enjoy!

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." -- Anne Frank


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Steps to Happiness Series: #4 Relinquish the Need for External Approval

Continuing the Steps to Happiness Series...We're now at step #4...

Growing up I used to be one of those people-pleaser kids. I wanted everyone to like me and I was always concerned about what other people thought about me - as is most kids. I finally grew out of that need for external approval from my peers during college when I realized that I was unhappy because I was too busy wanting other people to accept me. To an extent I still seek approval - mainly from my parents - but I realize that I really need to just live my own life to be truly, truly happy.

So, how did I free myself from other people's opinions? I simply made the decision to not let their thoughts and gossip affect me. I also started to surround myself with positive people who supported me and loved me unconditionally.

One of the most liberating feelings in life is knowing that as long as you're happy, other people's opinions don't matter. The greatest love of all is learning to love yourself. That's not to say that you shouldn't be mindful of other people's feelings if you're in a situation that concerns them, but when it comes to your life and how you live it, that's up to you.

Have anything else to add?

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Photo Credit: Dry Icons

Steps to Happiness Series: #3 Embrace Silence Through Meditation

Continuing the Steps to Happiness Series, we're now up to #3: Embrace silence through meditation

Meditation is the practice of quieting your mind and connecting with The Source of All. Whenever someone comes to me with a problem, my immediate advice is: Go meditate on it. There is so much power in just clearing your mind of all that clutter and mind chatter. Meditation allows good energy to flow to you and puts you in a deeper state of consciousness.

Here is a video of Deepak Chopra explaining what meditation is...


I've been meditating every day for the past couple years and have seen a dramatic improvement in my attitude and abundance. What started it for me was reading Wayne Dyer's book: Getting in the Gap: Making Conscious Contact with God Through Meditation (Book with CD)

I've talked about meditation quite a bit here in the past, so I'll simply point out all those posts which will explain the importance and benefits of meditation:

• Attracting Everything Good Into Your Life
• Meditation and Deep Breathing For An Abundant and Happy Life
• How to Regain Your Energy and Natural Vitality
  

Is this your first time here? You may want to read the past articles in the 10 Steps to Happiness Series:

Step 1: Being Aware of Your Body
Step 2: Live in the Moment